The Love Letter.

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Johannes Wyss von Krieg
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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Wed Jun 07, 2017 12:37 pm

[[Can't be an AdMech. That paranoid Xenarite Staggy would have known.]]

/

Talancir
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Postby Talancir » Wed Jun 07, 2017 12:44 pm

[[omniscient he is not. It could have snuck past him with the right encryptions ans backchannels.]]

Nevaraon
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Postby Nevaraon » Wed Jun 07, 2017 12:49 pm

[[Could actually be Staggy, maybe he's a secret hopeless romantic]]

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Postby Commissar Cat » Wed Jun 07, 2017 12:58 pm


Mordian Characters:
Others: / / /

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Johannes Wyss von Krieg
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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Wed Jun 07, 2017 1:00 pm


/

Nevaraon
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Postby Nevaraon » Tue Jun 20, 2017 10:14 am


Talancir
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Postby Talancir » Tue Jul 25, 2017 12:03 pm

Beware the Remy. She is everywhere, and nowhere.

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Johannes Wyss von Krieg
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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Tue Jul 25, 2017 12:24 pm

still waitin' though... Oh the tension, it's killing me!

/

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Postby Nevaraon » Wed Jul 26, 2017 8:46 pm

After a more weeks of waiting than the guardsmen were used too. The empty box suddenly filled again over night. Titled "Dancing with the Devil in the Pale Moonlight. It was a larger edition than most. The cover featured an artistic rendering of a woman and a man who were embraced tenderly on a rooftop with an artillery blast illuminating them from behind in a shape that could almost be described as a heart. . Despite the hand-drawn features, many claimed to recognize either the man or the woman, but no one would say exactly who they were.

Good Day, my darlings. I hope that this day sees you feeling well, and if not then i hope that you will be well soon. I have written to tell you today of a lovely date that i personally watched. Hopefully, you remember the very handsome Karskin, of whom I've spoken, and who distinguished himself in the mission to Fort Stultus. Well today, I'm afraid to tell you of a tragedy, our poor man, of whom i did not manage to take as my own, has fallen.

From the ranks of the single, for a very beautiful woman has put her sights upon him. A sergeant of a differing regiment altogether. Though i do not doubt that she is woman enough to handle him and steer him in the correct way of the married. (or the recruiting as i've heard those of Cadia call it.)

These two spent a lovely night upon the top of a roof, and then and equally lovely walk towards the barracks. Wherein many secrets and confessions of undying love, honor, and honestly where exchanged. To both of the happy couple, i send all of my best wishes. And i hope that you have much more time together.

Yours truly and forever,
Romantic Remy


Within the pages of the section titled "Ask Remy" several letters were answered with highlights. The first one read.

"Dear Remy,

I am a Valhallan guardsmen, just another Guardsmen out of the countless number through the Emporium. I have always seen myself as this and always will. I am nothing special and will remain so. But when my original regiment was collapsed into the Redacted', I found myself blessed with new life and meaning in the form of a women. She was the beauty of the morning rising and the grace of the moon itself. I never thought in my entire life I would experience what I did with her. When I first saw her I thought I was dreaming, I still thought I was dreaming at the idea that she would favor the untidy mess that I am. But by the Emperor's grace, she did. We became entwined in one another, each giving the other reason to live and fight another day. I will always treasure what we had.

Though that has all changed. She was shot by a sniper whilst out on a patrol. The news crippled me for almost a week. What make matters worse is that I have recently learnt that her death was completely avoidable, and in fact was cause by a frakkin grot shit of an officer who use her as live bait to draw the sniper out! Because of him I have lose everything that ever mattered to me and if I ever see that runt of a office, I will kill him.

I am sort for the bluntness of my letter. I am sure you are not use to this sort of heavy material. I don't even know how you can help me. I guess that at the least I am able to get this off my chest in a non detrimental nature. I hope you will for give me for the burden I lay here, I have carried may heavy loads on my shoulders, but this one I am not able to bare alone. I have lost everything, and have returned to being but a number once more. This planet will most likely be my resting place like so may that have marched on before me, but I will hold on to the hope that you may somehow help to sooth the pain I feel to meet my end with at least some form of peace.

Your humble guardsmen,
A loyal, but angry husband."

My Loyal, but angry husband,

As one who can, perhaps like no other, sympathize with your love both gained, and lost. while there is little i can do to take care of such a man as the one who lost her to you. I do recommend a certain young and upcomming commissar, who has also had personal loss to the guard and has been featured within this very paper, may be able to help you. She could easily look into the matter and, if things are as you say. She would crucify the officer with no hesitation. And to that commissar whom i've mentioned, please do take the time to discover what I can feel is truth.


Directly underneath the letter to Remy from the angry husband was another letter, though not nearly as articulate.

"Dear Remy,

I am a Bacaran from Te Harinui, just another guardsmen along way from his native home world. I write with a unusual request which may be asking too much of you. You see, after we Bacarans departed from Te Harinui, most of us have excepted the fact that as a penal legion of sorts we will most likely never see our loved ones again. Most of the brothers have forgotten there old loves and moved onto finding such comforts whereever we go. But I my self haven't.

I have a wife back on Te Harinui. She is the love of my life and I will not forget her. The memory of her is my driving force as much as the Emperor's will and the hope that I may one day see her again is the hope that I cling to in the darkest hours. But it has been two years now since I last saw her and as of recently it has been taking it's toll. I do not sleep without dreaming of her in one way or another, making me question if she is okay or if she considers me lost. Therefore I plead for your help. I must get in contact with her, some way, some how! If you have any way of getting a message to her, I would be eternally grateful.

I wait in hope for your reply,
Just another Bacaran."

"My dear Bacaran,

Your love, is truely that of love that which is rarely found in the vastness that is the kingdom of the Emperor. All that I may say is that a love like yours mayhaps deserves an effort upon my part to contact one who is love like your wife. If you leave your message for me, in the same way that you left the letter before, rest assured that she will receive it.

Your messenger of love,
Romantic Remy"

And a final letter was highlighted amongst the many others.

"Recipient
Alias "Romantic Remy"

Subject
Cease and Desist Letter

Unit 'Romantic Remy' is hereby directed to CEASE AND DESIST publishing any further "the Love Letter" prints under the title 'Love in the Trenches'.
The behaviour pattern described in previously published material is abnormal among Krieg Units and strictly punished by a disciplinary committee, often in Hard Labour and Termination.
Any evidence of such behaviour -if existent, is to be sent to theRedactedCompany for validation, disproval and subsequent destruction.
The RedactedCompany reserves the right for the complete annihilation of the 'Love Letter' Publishing site should unit 'Romantic Remy' not comply.

Ceaser and Desister"


"My dear Ceaser and Desister,

I am afraid that in the name of Love, I am unable to stop. For it is the will of the Divine, that I must continue. Mayhaps, you can appeal to that, which is the highest of high authorities. Though of course, i should also point out the disfavor that your company should bring upon itself, destroying one of the largest sources of amusement, would incure.

Forever yours, in sickness and health,
Romantic Remy"

Talancir
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Postby Talancir » Thu Jul 27, 2017 12:08 am



And a shoutout to the initial chapter, too! well done.

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Drocol Ritter von Krieg
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Postby Drocol Ritter von Krieg » Thu Jul 27, 2017 12:40 am





Nevaraon
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Postby Nevaraon » Thu Mar 01, 2018 6:28 pm

The Love Letter was still going strong. Especially as many upper level officers seem to have given up on ever catching the mysterious Remy. Who seemed to be almost supernatural in her information gathering abilities.

This issue differed from many others as it was first, printed on thicker paper than was normally seen. Secondly, instead of the normal Pictograph front cover. There was a lovingly drawn artistic rendering of the candlemass celebration, as if seen from the rafters. Around the edges, in the normal style of Remy so that while nobody's face was completely seen; few could doubt who they were supposed to be. With a full color hazy effect, a Commissar with one bionic arm held a cup of punch and had both his eyes closed like a warm and happy tomcat at rest stood at the highest point of the picture, while a lovely woman in a green dress was planting a kiss on his cheek.

Moving clockwise along the edge of the picture, stood a younger commissar and a Krieger, both of whom stood closely, eyes focused firmly on the center of the page and the two occupants therein. around where the 3rd hour of a clock would be marked stood a lovely Lancer Epliochas who was covering her mouth with both hands, whilst a Cadian knelt on one knee offering something small and shiny.

Around where the 4th hour would be marked was that of a large overcoat with a larger nose extending from it beside whom stood a tall and feminine figure dressed in Mechanicus robes, they seemed to be holding hands and enjoying the atmosphere while a bobbing servoskull watched on in approval, brandishing a twig of mistletoe as ancient tradition demanded.

At the 5th marker, stood a bright and joyous looking Specialist Ratling, offering her treats to anyone who was in reach.

At the 6th position, was a more somber scene as a beautiful Krieger was storming away with what could have been a tear falling, while another masked krieger looked on to the shredded remains of paper, maybe a love letter? while his hand curled around a cookie in the shape of a heart.

The 7th position, was a more cheerful scene with a techpriest and a "Bridge Burner" puzzled over a hopelessly complex box full of wires. while a Cadian woman sat a nearby table, looking fretfully at a half eaten Fleur made of food.

the 8th position had an obviously stumbling confessor, caught by a classically uniformed Mordian. Both of whom were obviously intoxicated. While a Blue eyed, Golden haired guardswoman looked on in fondness.

the 9th position had a large orgyn with a short crazed looking Valhallan woman on his shoulders with a pair of sparklers in both hands.

the 10th position featured the Black of a Lucifer kind, the figure wielding a guitar with flair and apparent skill to the entertainment of the surrrounding crowd.

the 11th marker had a simple civillian with a pair of bags full of cookies in either hand. He projected a beaming, yet coyly mysterious smile.

There were of course many other semi-recognizable faces scattered all over the paper, lovingly captured in a hazy style as if they were all just background pieces, which compared to the centerpiece they were.

the center took up an abnormally amount of space, compared to the other people. A certain Valmerian Noble held a young cadian woman in a close embrace, maybe for a dance, maybe a hug, maybe something else. While he looked down to the woman's eyes, his own were covered by a tassle of red hair, which just kept his face from being recognizable, He did however have a rose held between his teeth, in a dashing and flamboyent way. The woman on the other hand could only be seen from profile where only a single violet eye was visible, the lower half of her face being blocked from view by one raised hand. But inside that single eye was emotion that was widely recognizable to anyone who had ever experienced tender feelings. Confusion, hope, fear, intrigue, butterflies in the belly, passion. The all too familiar mix of emotions which anyone who knew them could instantly sympathize, yet could not exactly define, should they be asked to do so. Somehow the artist managed to gather them all up and place the all inside the eye of this young woman.

It was a masterpiece of art that should have sold for millions of Thrones in the highest courts of Terra. Instead, it was available to anyone with a pair of thrones to spend on the new issue of Love Letters.




Love Letters, Candlemass edition

Hello again my darlings, I am glad to see you all enjoying yourselves this Candlemass, I surely enjoyed watching you doing so. Well.....for the most part anyways, I am sorry to see not all is well in the trenches, my delightful sniper. Feel free to unload your emotional state on me. Romantic Remy is always a willing shoulder to cry upon.

I do however see that there is the next step being taken in some relationships. Confessor, better warm up that wedding bell. Good Catch my fiery Lancer, He's definitely a keeper.

Ah, but as anyone can see, I am most excited to see that our own Catherder has found, yet another love interest. I hope that this one will be more permanent than his last engagement. She is absolutely adorable, but he better watch out, as anyone with one eye could see, she's got a protective older brother and sister ready to administer justice, should he overstep.

As for my Commissar with the nice tush, i see that a certain Captain managed to pass on a kiss from me as well. OOOOO if only i were a bit younger. *ahem*

As for this new guitar hero, I must say, I always enjoyed a man who knew the musical arts, I personally play the saxophone, but maybe if your other admirer doesn't appear soon, we could form a band.

With all the love in my heart and soul, forever yours


Romantic Remy



after the main articles Romantic Remy answered many questions about how to romance so and so. What people were doing wrong in their relationships. And many other tips about how to maintain difficult relationships in adverse conditions. At the end of which she left an authors note saying

Please feel free to contact me if anyone needs help of any kind with their relationship, I am always willing to help


_________________________________________________________________________________________________

OOC: Bringing Love Letters back, I promise i'll try not to let it lapse, if you want your relationship questions answered/featured, just shoot me a pm, contact me on Discord, or otherwise make it known to me. All i ask is you give a suitable psuedonym like if contacting an "Ask Abi" column. Romantic Remy always shys away from hard names and faces.

Nevaraon
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Postby Nevaraon » Sat Mar 10, 2018 4:13 am

As per the normal schedule, The Love Letter drop box filled up once again. Overnight, quietly, and nobody able to account for how it was done.

Wesley would soon awaken his master with a copy taped to the Servo Skull's forhead.

The cover of the love letter had a simple outline of a figure of a male in a storm-cloak with a bright light behind him. In the bottom right corner of the page was a bubble with jagged edges, clearly indicating a separate image on the same page. In this bubble is a hand drawing of a squat avian creature with flippers instead of wings, also it had a strange black and white plumage. It appeared to be squawking angrily. Along the top of the page was a bright red title in a cheerful warm font.

The Love Letter

Hello my dear lovelies. I hope the brisk morning finds you all well and safe. and i hope that someone somewhere keeps your heart full of warmth and Love! If not, then know that i have enough love for you all. and i willingly send it out to you.


The first couple of pages was just a large album of picts and artistic drawings that could almost pass for picts.

On the top half of the first page there was a lovely picture taken from the rafters, with a little bit of tarp on the corner of the pict obscuring the full view down into the barracks. It featured a strong, tanned arm resting gently on a young woman's shoulder in a very tender and sweet moment. Though neither the man, nor the young woman's face could be seen. It was undeniable a touching moment.

On the lower half was the back of a large tan man, possibly the owner of the previous picture's arm. He was sitting next to a young woman, almost definitely the woman from the previous picture. They were sitting beside a large cookpot and a pile of tubers. It was a warm, homey, and simple moment. and it's poignancy lay in its simplicity.


The page opposite was a compilation of picts and art done into a beautiful collage. It held everything that could be seen in the daily life of a guard, but they were all drawn or shot in such a way as to make each one seem ripe for a recruiting poster. A Commissar standing and placing his hat on his head, looked like a warrior from a feudal world donning his armor. A lone Guardsman stood his post, looking at a rising sun. A guardswoman lay on top of a chimera, doodling in a sketchbook. Several Techpriests stood around a Skitarii Ranger, inspecting it for readiness.

On the Final page was a full art illustration of two men in motorcycle helmets and jackets, standing across from eachother with a motorcycle in between. Not much could be told about them other than one man towered over the other.

In the normally sparse section known as "Letters to Remy" there was a large number of letters that were sent in. Not that Remy was ever going to complain.

"Dear Romantic Remy,

Let us contend that I find someone to be possessed of a particularly commanding visage. While I find their countenance to be quiet prepossessing I fear that I am particularly ill suited to speaking on matters of the heart. To further complicate this matter is that the chain of command places this person in a position that makes it unsuitable for me to pursue these matters. A serious convolutedness, considering the most aggrieved status of our command structure.

Is this something that I should consider pursuing in the slightest, or should I continue with my duties and ignore this attraction, as I know is proper? Would even considering this be treasonous to the women and men I serve alongside due to a conflicting interest? If I were, ever, to entertain the idea of attempting some sort of courtship with the person aforementioned, how would you think the most apprope way to proceed?

Sincerely
Conflicted"

"Dear Conflicted,

Oh my, how absolutely delicious. I can truly understand your confusion. While I cannot claim any experience in the military. I can most certainly understand conflict of purpose and interest. However i would point out that if whom you speak of is who i believe it to be. (And I'm fairly sure it is) I would then point out that you have no true conflict of interest. Should anything of legal matters take place, then you simply need to recuse yourself. There is no greater treason to he that watches over us all, than to ignore our passions. For without our passion, what makes us human?

Of course if you have questions that you feel unsuited to answer, You know where to write.

Love,
Remy


(EDITED HEAVILY to protect the identity of the sender.)

Dear Romantic Remy,

What should I do when I feel that all my efforts are in vain? I wonder if this was even a real idea. Or if just a fantasy i told myself.

I am very new to the idea of love. I've never really experienced anything like it before. But the man i have felt these emotions for, hasn't been as receptive to my advances as i hoped. He has acted in such a way that I am hurt deeply, but i am also determined to continue making the attempt, partly because I don't believe that i can make, even the small connection i have made so far, with someone from a different unit.

Also, is there something between a Friend and a Love? Would it work better in this situation?

-Lost in the Trench


Dear Lost in the Trench,

Oh my, I was afraid something like this would happen. It's a terrible thing to happen. I'm proud that you are sticking through it though. Love is not always easy. As for your question, I think you re doing all you can do. Asking for support and continuing onwards. The only other bit of advice i can give you is to sit your intended down, ask them bluntly if they want to continue with this relationship, decide your mission objectives from there, love. I think that is something you shouldn't have an issue with. Bluntness seems to be a specialty among you and your fellows.

Yes, there is a whole spectrum of somethings between a Friend and a Love. But, to put it in terms you would best understand, We simpley do not have enough mission data to accurately identify what you two may be.

Forever loving and watching.
Unit Romantic Remy

Dear Remy,

I find myself smittened by a certain Guardsman here on base. He seems nice and strong but there is wrong problem: I'm not a Guardsman. I'm just a civilian. He knows this and he says he's okay with it but I'm worried what would happen if anyone found out. I'm afraid if possible consequences he might face being with me. Do you have any advice for me? Any help would be appreciated.

- Concealed and Civilian Crush

Dear Concealed and Civilian Crush,

You have nothing to worry about, besides the penal legions, there is no legal prohibitions in the Astra Militarum by laws that are against civilian/military relationships. Just continue showing your love and support and expect the same from him. All will be well.

With a love that can't be sorted or filed
Romantic Remy


This next letter, instead of being printed normally, is instead a hand drawn replica that perfectly captured and preserved the original letter
Dear Remy,

Sorry that the handwriting isn't so great and that this is written on a napkin. I was wondering if you believe it is possible for a convict to find love. If so, how would such a person be able to find it? I'm talking something meaningful, not a one time thing.

- A Convict

Dear Convict,

I believe that love can find its way through just about anything. For it is a gift from the Flame Lord, that can burn through the strongest walls of ceremite. No obstacle can stay in its path for long. It has no care for a mortal's station in life, It, as a gift from He who Burns Brightest should, sees into the truth of all things. As for finding it, well He gave you the perfect instrument to locate it when you were born. Just follow what your heart tells you to be true.

Your Friend with a lovely hat,
Remy


To the author of the love letter,

I ask that you immediately cease and desist publishing anything that in anyway refers to myself. Although I understand you do not give names, the likeness of me in the last issue is unmistakable. As a publisher, you should understand that individuals have a right to choose whether they are featured in arrivals or not. Therefore I am upset that no attempt to inform me was made before publication. I hope I have gotten my point over to you, and if that won't do, here is a little more motivation to make considering before you publish. I know my servo skull saw you that night! He may be unwilling to give the recorded visual, but so help me, I will extract it if I have too!

The Emperor protects,
Master Cobblepot (name edited to protect the identity of such a man)

Dear Master Cobblepot,
No.

Kisses and regards,
Remy

Nevaraon
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Postby Nevaraon » Thu Apr 26, 2018 10:34 am

Once again, the stand that contained the copies of "The Love Letter" got its mysterious shipment.

The cover of this issue was a hand drawn pin up of a very beautiful Guardswomen in well groomed Mordian Dress uniform. She was looking over her shoulder with a pearly white grin. A true Mordian would note that the uniform was tightened far too much for a real Dress Uniform.


Dear Remy,

How does one find love in the guard? I’ve never been in love, the closest I’ve ever gotten is a schola dance. My Drill Instructor always told us love was a weakness, you seem state the opposite is true.

Does love just happen? Do I search? Is there instructions? I have a few Primers but it’s not in there! Help me Remy!

-Stumbling Through Life.

Dear Stumbling Through Life,
Love in the guard is as varied and immense as the Guard itself. Short and passionate, or long and comfortable. I would definitely be at odds with your drill instructor if his own version of love wasn't intended to keep you alive. Love can happen randomly and even against the wishes of some. But the best and most true kind of love is built slowly over time. Look not to your primers, but instead to the brothers and sisters to your sides.
-The steadying shoulder
Romantic Remy

Dear Romantic Remy,
While I was quite shocked to learn about this ...err...news wire. I was enhralled. I was wondering if you woud view love from another standpoint. A love of family. I was hoping if you wouldn't mind at least. to send this letter home to my Mother. To let her know I'm ok. With love.
-Little Spanner

Dearest Little Spanner,
Love of family is a true and pure love. Almost lewd in its own right, amongst the much raunchier love most of my readers submit. I can offer no promises, Warp travel being what it is. But rest assured I will pass it on.
-The Beautiful Toolbox
Romantic Remy

Dear Romantic,
I am at a loss and desperately need expert advice. I have never been a flirtatious man. I have seen many beautiful women around the base in my short time here. But I either get too nervous or stumble over my own words like a child. Any advice to a luckless tunnel rat?
-With hope
Cerb

Dearest Cerb,
There are indeed many beautiful, willful, and Strong women amongst the base. I recommend practice practice practice. Talk to women and ask them about their days. Learn to speak about every day things. Eventually Romance will work its way into your speech.

-Watching with Interest
Romantic Remy



Dearest Romantic Remy,

Alas, while it shouldn’t be, I can’t help myself but look forwards to regularly scheduled releases of The Love Letter. In my mission to study the lives of the brave and loyal guardsmen and guardswomen of The Astra Militarum I find your own studies to be an excellent insight on the lives and losses they endure.

While my question does not deal with my own love life, that is a topic that is off limits for the time being, I must ask how do you go about collecting your information? You may leave the details and names of colleagues (if there are any) ambiguous but I must know your method. Do you send agents to do the research or do you conduct the direct studies yourself. Do you have specialized equipment or do you roll up your sleeves and face the tasks by hand?

May Quarry in both Love and War always fall to you,
-Scholarly Interested.

Dearest Scholarly Interested,
I have many ways of collecting information. However, I must decline to answer how I gather it. For in revealing that, I will lose it entirely.
-Interested in Scholarship
Romantic Remy

Nevaraon
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Postby Nevaraon » Wed Jul 11, 2018 11:39 am

This latest edition of the Love Letter had a cover image of several strong Catachans lounging on top of a destroyed Tau Mechsuit. They all seemed to glisten through the grime covering their bodies and muscular arms. The background had a setting sun which was beginning to outline the tired guardsmen. In the bottom right, in a breakaway white paneled background, there was the now familiar avian with large angry eyebrows and black and white plumage. it appeared to be flapping it's wings angrily and ineffectually.

The Interior of the first couple pages held pictures taken of Opportune Moments with Saucy Speculations written alongside them.

There was a Pict of a Commissar kissing a Red headed figure in black armor. the caption simply read. A new Rival has Entered the Battle?

A pair of off duty guardsmen in a recognizable barracks room stood near a window talking amiably. About what? Who knows for sure. But the Caption read The Path to the Heart is rarely found through Sports, But keep trying my sweet

A Well Muscled man stood shirtless, scarred, and flexing his muscles, whilst another man struggled....Vainly. against his arm. In the corner of the pict, the back of a pale blonde woman seemed to be watching with interest. There are few things as interesting as manly men struggling in the spirit of competition


The normally full Letters to Remy section seemed a bit sparser than normal. With only one or two letters sticking out

Dear Remy,

I have decided to step away from relationships for the moment, in order to better understand and love both myself and my comrades before attempting to try again.

I have noticed something that I have not felt before. And the Medicae assure me that i am physically fine and healthy as can be.
But recently I've noticed someone who is more muscular than I am used to seeing. And I can't seem to tear my eyes away from them. Every time they remove their shirt. And it seems to me that it is happening with increasing regularity. At first I thought that it might be love, such as what i felt for my former relationship, but reflection has shown me that this isn't the case. Can you help me understand what this is that I am feeling.


Sincerely,
Inter-unit Affairs

Dear Inter-Unit Affairs,

It is hard to describe how lovely it is to watch you mature into these feelings and emotions. I feel like a proud mamma hen. In anycase, the emotions you have been feeling are entirely normal, and not unusual. for i know whom you speak of and he is quite attractive in a rugged way. And i can see how that might appeal to you. But what you are experiencing is Lust. or at the very least a crush. This is something that most people will feel in their lives. And it can end in a more fulfilling emotion of Love from a long term relationship....Or something a little more....Firecrackery. Short, Sweet, and explosive. My only advice is to listen to your heart and act accordingly and with decorum befitting a lady of your status.

Watching with ever growing Interest
Romantic Remy


Dear Remy,

It's me again. First, thank you for the advice in your last letter. It has helped me figure things out and I've come to a decision. You remember the Guardsman I was talking about earlier? I think I want to meet him but he doesn't know who I really am. I'm not sure what the best way to tell him who I really am is. Should I write a letter? Tell him in person? Set up a date? Any advice would be wonderful.

- Concealed and Civilian Crush

Dear Concealed,

I do remember the lovely young man of whom you speak. I heartily recommend that you invite him personally. It will give greater meaning and intensity to your passion and love. I also suggest a moonlit walk along the ramparts. For as we know, the moon is messenger of love.

Forever the pretty guardian of love
Romantic Remy


At the end of the magazine, has been a growing short strip comic of the angry avian. It was titled "Gunther

In this Week's clip, Guther appeared to be breaking into a barracks room and slapping around a giggling Hyena. Who seemed to regret nothing it might have done.

Nevaraon
Posts: 577
Joined: Mon Dec 26, 2016 12:50 pm
Location: florence SC

Postby Nevaraon » Wed Nov 14, 2018 3:42 am

Once again the box made its familiar act of mysteriously filling up. The new issue was out.


The issue was that of a hot shower with a little suilioutto of a man inside. Steam obscuring everything but a general outline. Nobody could be entirely sure if this was a Pict or handrawing. As Remy’s art could be quite lifelike. There was large print titling the issue as Steamy Sessions in the Office Inside was the usual assortment of pictures on base ranging from pairs of soldiers sitting alone talking. To beautiful sunsets, to one particularly stunning shot of a Swamp Owl glaring at the Pictographer. There were also Picts of the recent Krieger Relations Improvement Event. Featuring a pair of Well muscled, sweaty men grappling on the ground. Which was titled Oh my

There was an article which featured the almost familiar Commissar Office. In an open doorway, leading to a washroom with steam drifting out of it, stood a man with scars and muscles clad in only a black and gold towel, looking into a room with a pair of redheads. It was titled Things getting steamy as a pair of redheads entertain the Commissar

In the letters to Remy section there was only a few letters.


Dear Romantic Remy,

I’ve met a beautiful woman, however she’s a refugee and I am a Guardsmen. We really enjoy eachother’s Company. But it is hard to spend time together. Can you think of a way for us to spend more time together?

Sincerely,
Walls-won’t-seperate.

Dear Walls,

How sweet, a more classic tale there really couldn’t be. I suggest that since there is a large hole in the walls, that you volunteer for guard duty over there. That way you spend more time with the lady love, look good for taking initiative, and keep the base safe.

Guarding your love as you guard us,
Romantic Remy

Dear Romantic Remy,

I am smitten with a particular Guardsman. However, I'm afraid that he's so dashing and popular that other girls might be smitten with him as well and I'm afraid he might find them more appealing than me. What can I do to win his love?

- Hapless and Humble Hopeful

Dear Hapless and Humble Hopeful,

I fear that you do not give yourself enough credit. You are an outstandingly striking woman yourself. Hold your head high, chin up, and be bold. He’s sure to notice you.

Helping the Hapless,
Romantic Remy.


At the end of the issue, the Gunther comic depicted Gunther around a war table with the Hyena with a Vox headset and a dog with straw colored fur and a gas mask around its neck. Gunther seemed to be angrily pointing to a map and explaining something.

Nevaraon
Posts: 577
Joined: Mon Dec 26, 2016 12:50 pm
Location: florence SC

Postby Nevaraon » Sun Aug 04, 2019 7:08 pm

Once again, the Box refilled overnight while nobody saw it being restocked.

In the Love Letters Column, There were quite a few Questions and Answers, but Two Stood out the most. Being in Larger print than the rest.

Dear Romantic Remy,

It's me again. I think I'm might finally do it and tell my crush who I really am. I have an idea of what I'm going to do for this date but I'm not sure if I'll be able to drag him off base to show him a good time. Is there anything I, a civilian, can do to make it so?

- Jail Breaker

Dear Jail Breaker,

The easiest course of action is, of course, to hit him over the head and drag him off base. It seems like fun in the vids. But a more realistic answer would be to obtain a duty roster from his Sgt and/or from his squadmates and to plan a date based around when he has no duties.

Neanderthally yours,
Remy


Dear Romantic Remy,

Sorry it has been so long since the last time I've written you. War going on and all that. I need your expert advice. I may have accidentally, on purpose seriously hurt a fellow trooper. I don't know how exactly to make it up to them, as all I'm really good at is fighting the many enemies of the God-Emperor of Man-Kind.During a social, inter-unit close quarters combat exercise, I was attending in order to represent my Unit, and strengthen recently damaged relations to other units. I also felt that i would be able to bring myself more fully out of my introverted nature, during the course of the exercise. However, through a conflux of unavoidable, but regrettable, events I injured and was injured by my training partner. Resulting in serious injuries to both him and myself. Which is a rather large step in the wrong direction of what I wanted from this. I think that there was a chance for an actual friendship with the person I injured. But I'm unsure of what to do to get around beating the snot out of him and myself. What do I say? What can I do to make things right between us?

Sincerely Yours,
Battered and Bruised.


Dear Battered,

Oh, that is definitely a bit of a stumble, I hear that cracking a man's skull does wonders for opening his mind. But I'm not sure that is supposed to be taken literally. Let him heal and recover. Maybe bring him a gift for while he's recovering. Visit when time allows. Then make it up to him with something a little less violent than a hip throw onto the concrete.

P.S. I can't blame you for going to that 'exercise' I saw some partners I wouldn't mind sparing with. If you know what I mean.

Thankfully Bruise Free,
Remy

'Dear Remy,
I want to get with the local women, but I can't commit to a relationship or anything relationship like since I'm in the guard. I'm also a penal soldier who's looks seem to scary most women. There are a few of us I'm this position. So do you know anywhere we can find women in Naris who would be interested in us?'

'P.s, send battle sister spreads

Dear Penal Shoot and Scaper,

I, as a Lady of both Class and Taste, wouldn't know about any such place, like the 4th corner North of the Golden Claw Saloon, where any strapping young Guardsperson, could be lead to a place known as the Cuddlehouse. Wherein the darkly lit room, two people may, ahem, cuddle for a while. Nor would i know that it is a requirement to wear a mask whilst standing on said corner to signal the guides. I wish that i could help, but alas, as I said. Class and Taste.

Classy and Tasty,
Remy.


On the next couple of pages, There are some artfully taken pictures of Soritas in Various types of Power Armor. However, each of the faces has been editted to have Commissar Holt's glaring face. The Picture of a group of Repentia looked rather interesting this way.


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