[PM] "Evening Vox Talks" with Felix Hartmann

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Johannes Wyss von Krieg
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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Thu Jun 22, 2017 11:42 am

With the whole war on Varlmaria going on, it is often hard to notice the small details: The Skies above the clashing attack craft as it is being painted orange and red by the Evening Sun, Sounds of Singing Birds during a firefight, a lone Flower remaining from a beautiful town square now demolished by heavy tracks of Tanks and of course: the Civilian Vox.

What started as a discovery by a bored Comms Officer shifting between channels quickly spread by a word of mouth to the entire base and became the favorite channel and pastime on the evenings when returning from a grueling day of endless fighting to the relaxing music of the Vox-Channel and enjoying the simple things.

So it was for about a week since the 'discovery' of said channel until it's existence was known to every Guardsmen -Be it an Officer enjoying Social Conversation with a Glass of Fine Amasec in the Officer's Club to the Being-Shelled-Ration-Smuggling-Tarot-Playing Grunts in the Barracks. For the First time, the music was cut off, not by the final destruction of the mysterious origin of the Naris-Spanning signal -much to the joy of the soldiers, but by a voice.

"And We are LIVE! Good job Jörgen!" A rather clear and energetic voice announced. [[Think Cave Johnson from Portal 2]]
"Now that we have enough audience let's start with introductions: I am Felix Hartmann, your charming anchor and over there is Jörgen. You, I assume, are the Guardsmen of His Imperium who got stuck here with us. Not a Problem, we can work it out, I swear in St. Celestine's Buttock Armour.

"Here's the deal: Now that Jörgen managed to get us some actual broadcasting equipment, this Vox channel will host the most interesting topics not covered in censorship tape (sorry but Felix Hartmann and Jörgen want to stay alive) and blast more music as before now with me rambling along the way! Not only that, but a special 2-way communication was installed so we can host some interesting guests, Like... Uhmm... Holt will kill me for sure... Nevermind, let's do it like that: Say you want to come here to the hidden station where we can talk face to face with a reinforced Metal Wall between us? We get to ask some questions and the rest get to hear the best stories so technically it is not boasting, only the almost-non-existent-freedom-of-press your host is allowed to!

"Now before you rush to triangulate my and poor Jörgen's position and possibly pound me to the ground with artillery, I want to know who pounds who in your base before that. I assure you, your peers want too. The "Love Letter" is nice but Love in Krieg? That's just ridiculous, have you seen them?! Creepy I know.
"If you want to join our talks, call the encrypted number being broadcasted now as I speak, The rest of you: Join Felix Hartmann on 'Evening Vox Talks' Same Channel, same Hour JöRGEN! What's the bloody Time?! Thanks! 19:00 Naris Time, if you want Standard just ask the nearby Tech Priest.
"This is Felix, tuning out with 'All you need is Guns' by the Ladybugs."


The Song began it's enjoyable melody and the evening passed to the night -still playing the tunes loved by all Humans Loyalists or not. until the NCO began actively turning out the Vox because sleep is mandatory and tomorrow will be a new hard day in the service to the Emperor.

[[PM ME]]

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Johannes Wyss von Krieg
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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Thu Jun 22, 2017 2:44 pm

Today the soothing music was stopped earlier as Felix moved through the various things currently happening on the Base and on the planet and such general and mundane things that in retrospect are 'Frakking Bonkers' -according to him
Until 18:56 when he stopped raving on the reason why Socks have a red and blue stripes at their end and moved on with his broadcasting programme.

"Jörgen just told me it's about 7 o'clock so let's move on before I drill the point any further. Thank you Jörgen, now they will never know why socks have a red and a blue stripe at their leg and instep, you made the Big I proud.
"Well anyway, for our first guest we decided to go for the best and most solid option... which I have no Idea who's it. Jörgen, who the feth is that guy?! Oh.
"Well, I am rather honored to host the "Flame Shark" Krag R. Krast the Kasrkin! Cue the applause Jörgen. What do you mean we don't have it? Well clap your hands a bit!"
*sounds of clapping hands were heard over the audio, presumably Jörgen's*
Last edited by Johannes Wyss von Krieg on Wed Jun 28, 2017 3:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby CyGamer » Thu Jun 22, 2017 3:03 pm

++...-What? No I don't see a red light. You sure this things on?-mumbling- look I don't know why they picked me first, I just sent in a letter as a joke...-mutter mutter- Hey don't you act all high and mighty, your half toaster!-....- Ah look I'm sorry man, just pissed that-...wait...no yeah I see a like. Um hello? Felix can you hear me?++

Who says the future has to be grimdark? Matt Ward that's who.

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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Thu Jun 22, 2017 3:22 pm

+++ Yes Krast, we hear you loud and clear! How do you find our Warphole of a Planet? Enjoying the scenery? +++

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Postby CyGamer » Thu Jun 22, 2017 7:13 pm

++Uh well Felix, I was assigned here, same as every guard on this damn waterhole. As for scenery, it's nice I guess. Bit to wet for my liking, plus it's odd to see different stars at night. Plus those freaky owls, scare the crap out of me. But it's got night beachs. Saw them from orbit during deployment, and if I wasn't busy fighting might stop by one some time.++

Who says the future has to be grimdark? Matt Ward that's who.

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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Thu Jun 22, 2017 7:24 pm

+++ Don't go there. Jörgen tells me the shopkeepers are overpriced and may possibly be blue with a woman's slit on their face if this war map is correct+++
+++ Speaking of Women, may our listeners know if you have one? Surely you wouldn't want to suffer our Owls alone at night? +++

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Postby CyGamer » Thu Jun 22, 2017 11:23 pm

++Ah...um...well I don't have one at the moment. I mean I'd like to have someone to recruit with! Just...well there is one...-distant snickering is heard- HEY SHUT IT! Okay short answer Felix is no, not at the moment...-muttering- ALRIGHT SMART ASS WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU "RECRUITED"?!...yeah that's what I thought.++

Who says the future has to be grimdark? Matt Ward that's who.

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Johannes Wyss von Krieg
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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Sun Jun 25, 2017 8:25 am

+++ I was just notified that asking for your recruiting partner before actually knowing who are you is impolite. Well sorry but I am not a polite person. Anyway Krast, tell our listeners where are you from exactly? While the majority does understand the implications behind the word 'Kasrkin', some Feral Worlders cannot read the Propaganda. Don't worry, they don't have Vox to hear that. +++

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Postby CyGamer » Sun Jun 25, 2017 2:38 pm

++Sh, okay that's easier. I'm from Cadia, born and breed. I'm from a small city, not really important, but still home. Hive Drast. Lived on Cadia for most of my life, trained in the schola, got promoted to Kasrkin training at about the time I was 15, got assigned to the 335th around 18. I was stationed mainly on Cadia for 5 years. Then got shipped here after another deployment. Um...think that's about it really.++

Who says the future has to be grimdark? Matt Ward that's who.

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Johannes Wyss von Krieg
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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Mon Jun 26, 2017 5:54 am

+++ Promotion at 15 years? Isn't that the age in which the juvies are the least productive to society? What Heroics did you commit to reach that rank? +++

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Postby CyGamer » Mon Jun 26, 2017 1:08 pm

++Well I'm not sure what other planets do, but on Cadia its fight or die. You start weapons training at 7, 6 if your a real good shot, and if you can't hold a gun, you make the ammo and shells. As for the promotion, its why I have so many burns on me. Reports were that a cult had started up, so they sent the whiteshields to clear them out. Sort of a trial by fire. In my case, it was actually fire. We arrived at the suspected area at 0630 hours, before the hab got busy. I was assigned to follow up after the scouts, using a flamer to burn the heretics out. Simple op, just go in, find any signs of heresy, and burn it. But almost immediately after the scouts entered, the entire block lit up with gunfire, all aimed at us. Turns out the report was a few weeks old, and the cult had grow a fair bit. The entire platoon was pinned down by stubber fire and we had lost our CO to snipers. Now I'm not going to say that it was by my brilliant leadership, or heroic actions that we made it out. Another trooper there-ah what was his name? Davin? Shit can't remember it. Anyways, another guy got our sorry asses in gear, and started giving orders. I was the only one left with a flamer, so I had to be escorted to each building to bring it down. God Emperor above, it was a hell hole. 11 hours with no support, only 23 Whiteshield versus over 200 cultists. Shit. But I was lucky, and managed to get all but one building before I was shot. Took a stubber round to the arm, and let me tell you, that shit hurts. Featured the bone in two places, and nearly clipped an artery. But taking it in the arm saved the flamers fuel tank, and I'd rather be shot in the arm than blown up in a fireball. Ah hang on Felix.
*Sounds of a lighter clicking* Okay. So where was I?++

Who says the future has to be grimdark? Matt Ward that's who.

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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Mon Jun 26, 2017 1:19 pm

+++ You were taking bullets to the arm and Jörgen heard a click, It could have been an Iho Lighter, a Flamer Lighter or a Grenade falling next to our studio. WHAT'S OVER THERE? JUST THE REGULARS? WELL, TAKE CARE OF THEM WILL YA? +++
*Muffled out sounds of gunfire in the background*
+++ Don't worry about that, just some of Natick's Boys makin' sure we have plenty of target practice. Yes, Back to Cadia +++

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Postby CyGamer » Mon Jun 26, 2017 6:40 pm

++Oh right. Thanks Felix. So, again I was shot and the only flamer we had. But I wasn't going to let a bullet stop me. 8 others and myself charged the building, trying to keep the cultists down till we got up. Only 3 made it, but a gave those bastards inside everything left in Spotlights tank. And these things hold a hell of a lot of promethium. I may have went a bit overboard, ended up with 3rd degree burns on my hands and lower forearms, but we got every last one. Hour later, our relief came for the 12 left. We stayed and made sure every kill was confirmed. After that we all got sent to Kasrikn training. Don't know what happened to the others since then, but I hear ones made captain.++

Who says the future has to be grimdark? Matt Ward that's who.

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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Tue Jun 27, 2017 2:49 pm

+++ And one Life Story told for today. Afraid the daily limit of glory has been reached, the rest are reserved for the Astartes! Always get in the way of fun...
So Krast, is there anything that we don't know by just looking straight at your face visor thingy and you really want us all to know? Things like favorite animal, beloved dish or Classified Strategic Intel so the Bluies can enjoy our show too? That's Jörgen's idea by the way, not mine. +++

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Postby CyGamer » Tue Jun 27, 2017 6:47 pm

++Ah well...wait what was that last part?
*muttering*
What? Ah frak. Hey Felix, I just got called by my CO to report to go on patrol through the refugee camp. I have time for another question, so I'll answer these ones fast. Favorite food is a fresh grox steak with some of my moms famous rations stew-basically she took field rations, and made this great stew out of them-my favorite animal, I guess a dog. Never had a pet so don't really know what its like, but the base has Hodjie around and he's great to have. And I don't think I can say anything about that last part.

So one last question, then I have to pack it in.++
[[About time we gave some others the stage light]]

Who says the future has to be grimdark? Matt Ward that's who.

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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Wed Jun 28, 2017 6:26 am

+++ Quick, Krag! Name a song! +++

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Postby CyGamer » Wed Jun 28, 2017 12:04 pm

++Ah...um...shit all I know is marching songs.
*loud muttering*

Ah dammit. Okay Felix I'm out. That's for the interview.++

Who says the future has to be grimdark? Matt Ward that's who.

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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Wed Jun 28, 2017 3:26 pm

+++ And that was the "Flame Shark"! Now go boy and make your Emperor proud or something like that, by the request of the good Cadian enjoy 2 hours of nonstop marching songs, starting with "I love working for the Emperor" all the way thorough "Mama and Papa were laying in bed" ending with "I don't know but I've been told." -this one has something about Female Tau so make sure the Commissar is asleep!. You get to laugh and learn new stuff, and I get cash! JÖRGEN, HIT THE AUDIO! +++

The reason to the laughing Guardsmen in the next hours eluded the Regimental Commissars to no end...

[[OOC: Alright, preparing for the next one! Hint: Mechanicus]]

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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Thu Jun 29, 2017 4:59 pm

Some days gone by and the Channel remained operational and online, indicating that Felix and Jörgen are indeed able to survive on this planet, the guests on the Evening Vox Talks were around the same flavour of mundane life stories and not much of an action, much to the dissatisfaction of Jörgen who wanted some interviews around Krag's calibre and Felix who wanted to interview some Mechanicus personnel who had more important things to do. And by 'things', Felix meant Toasters.
Blessed be the Emperor, Omnissiah, Greater Good or whatever stupid things got into the bored guardsman's head their wishes have been granted.

+++ ...And that was "Boltgun" by Martaeus von Robbin, if only we could solve our problems with a good Mars Pattern Bolt Guns it would have been a better Galaxy. Apparently the Commissars do it regularly so someone has the right idea.
Now we are back on our regular show of Evening Vox Talks! Now, you all know me and especially Jörgen did request for some Cogboys to call us and have a talk heart to.. ehh... What do they have again? Ah thank you. Machine Oil Cycle Pump yes. So by the graces of BlessedGreaterGoodDivineGodEmperorofMantaukind, one of them decided to stop oiling the Toasters and call us! Welcome Fine Guest, May we know your name? Here, you see Jörgen? Proper etiquette this time! +++


[[BTW, There is an actual song called 'Boltgun' here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFRa0KZsGhc]]

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Postby Talancir » Thu Jun 29, 2017 9:04 pm

++...++



++Not all followers of the Omnissiah are "cog-heads." Just thought I'd clarify. That said, hello Felix! I'm Andromeda Maheras, of the 22/366th Castor Lancers Regiment. How are you today?++


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