[PM] "Evening Vox Talks" with Felix Hartmann

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Johannes Wyss von Krieg
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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Sat Feb 10, 2018 6:01 am

++yes, write it down.. Well, so this part came to an abrupt end. If you still hear us Croaker, Jorgen and I wish you quick recovery. As for our listeners, Sir Creedanfall Vervusius also known as Croaker, give him an applause for being a good guest on our daily Show "Evening Vox Talks" with me, your charming anchor and Jorgen the not so charming but very friendly Tech Guy! *Hand Clapping in the distance* airing every evening when we have enough power to air live.++

++Since we could not extract our fine guests musical taste, we'll follow up with "Jorgen's Personal Picks" Starting with !++

/

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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Mon Feb 12, 2018 3:00 am

The constanct Scoop Rush of Journalists can only be rivalled by the Astronomicon's Hunger for Psyker Souls. Massive Fireworks over the Habitation Blocks next to the Hall of Vitrue are a notable enough phenomenon to garner the attention and curiosity of Felix and Jorgen. Over the next few days he made every attempt to pry into the mysteries of the event, many answers were heard; from "The Skies Came upon us with Fire and Brimstone!" to "I thought Sanguinala was only in 3 months." None actually had any explanation.

It seems the Vox Anchor is reaching the point of giving up on the matter, relinquishing further advances and returning back to the usual routine. Unless...

++...And I will not tell you how to prefer your Roasted Owl, but putting it in a toaster with nothing but uncleaned and unpeeled Potatoes may upset at least one Tech Priest, and even an Earth Caste Tau Engineer for solidarity. Even the Blueberries have standards, C'mon. Moral of the Story: Never bet in cards with an Under-Hiver.++

++Now look at the time, It's... *Jingle Plays* "Evening Vox Talks!" to all the new listeners: this is where I, your impossibly Charismatic Anchor Felix Hartmann and equally Impossibly Handy Handyman Jorgen receive guests through the Vox and hear more about them, where they are from and whether or not they are free this evening.++

++Oooh We have a transmission already! Put it on Jorgen, HELLO FINE GUEST! To whom do we own the pleasure?++

/

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Postby Commissar Cat » Mon Feb 12, 2018 12:29 pm

The transmission becomes a little fuzzier, as the microphone is clearly picking up sound from across the room of the call joining the show. Various muffled bumps are heard as someone complains in the background.

++ "The fuck is this? The fuck are they? The fuck are those? The f-"

"Cat, stop fussing. C'mon, sit down. Come here."

"You said there'd be drinks! This isn't drinks, this is a vox st- Ohhh you sneaky- Why'd you do this to me, Ahde?"

"I figured it'd be fun, and this way people get to know more about our regiment."

"Fine. But you're paying for the drinks later."

"Sure." ++

The signal cleans up as Ahde switches over to his localised headset, and in turn, Cat tunes his bionic into the signal.
++ Allo Felix, Jorgen! Ahde Daniels, vox operator for the Mordian 183rd, plus I wrangled our tame commissar, Cat Yorke. I gotta compliment you on your operation, fellas, your dedication to broadcast is admirable.++

//#Yeah, hello. Can't say I'm a regular listener, but I'm all for keeping folk entertained...#//

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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Fri Feb 16, 2018 3:09 pm

++ Why thank you, fellow Comms Operator. Between ourselves, this job is way more harder than it looks.
And what do I hear? Another Commissar and Tamed at that? Well, with the Mordian Reputation I suppose Commissars are not much of a danger to you eh?++

++Speaking of, how can a Commissar entertain our troops? Not much in the sphere of art when your only colour is red if you ask me..++

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Postby Commissar Cat » Sat Feb 17, 2018 9:55 am

++ Well, mostly our commissars aid us in a morale and moral sense. Discipline doesn't mean a trooper has all the answers. So for those times when there are doubts, there are commissars... ++

//# And for the times they get lost in open fields because Mordians hail from a pitch black hive-world with no open terrain. #//

++ So you're a moral, spiritual and physical compass, well done. ++

//# [Sighing] Thanks, Ahde... Commissars have highly trained oratory skills, so we usually entertain by reading- #//

++ Yeah, and I hear Cat regularly entertains folk in his office of an evening... ++

//# [Choking sound] Ahde, n-no... I run a games club... #//

++ That too. ++

//# [High pitched exasperated noise] #//

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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Sun Feb 18, 2018 7:30 am

++Now wait right there, how is that for a pitch black hive world, you operate in formations that naturally require a lot of space and wear fancy uniforms that need light to be seen?++

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Postby Commissar Cat » Mon Feb 19, 2018 12:06 pm

++ Well, what happens when you put 100% of the planet population in 50% of the space, is you end up with layers...
You get people on top of people, on top of people... And the people at the bottom they suffer the most, and then things change... ++

//# The planet has a lot of trouble with civilian riots, chaos influence preying on the most troubled fringes of their culture. #//

++ Aye. So most every Iron Guard has served in the Mordian PDF, where we are the visible line between creeping forces, and preserving life. We have to be seen, and be something to be proud of. When there's very little light, we still need to be seen... ++

//# It does mean things like beaches, open skies and fields, and even forests can really confuse newly shipped out Mordians... #//

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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Sun Feb 25, 2018 6:39 am

++So That Explains the screaming Mordians running around in our swamp trying to keep a square shape of people. At least you are enjoying the fresh air right?++

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Postby Commissar Cat » Tue Mar 06, 2018 3:12 pm

++ Screaming? I think you're confusing us with the Second Sons. Very similar uniforms...++

//# ...Very different attitudes. Mordians very rarely talk down to anyone, that I've seen. #//

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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Fri Mar 09, 2018 5:19 pm

++Are the 2nd Sons the Pansy ones or the ones whose Major wanted to use my distant niece as a human shield? We could really do without both of the sons.++

++So what do you guys actually do? Pushing down riots is nothing new, at least our Arbities did that right if nothing else.++

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Postby Commissar Cat » Fri Mar 09, 2018 7:11 pm

//# Out of respect for inter-regimental relationships, as Commissar, I'd strongly advise Vox Officer Daniels avoid- #//

++ The pansy ones. Though the Unseen Sons are hardly brave, bullying refugees and taking candy from Merovech. ++

//# I tried. You all heard me try. #//

++ We don't simply put down riots. We ensure that there's still a city standing after whatever cluster fuck the rest of the guard caused. We manage civilians, we help them adjust to whatever changes are imposed upon them. Primarily we remind people that guardsman exist to protect the people, because we largely were the people before the uniforms. ++

//# Also drill. #//

++ So much drill... ++

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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Sun Mar 11, 2018 5:36 am

++Really? Didyahear that Jorgen? There are decent people in the Guard!++

++Speaking of a Cluster-Frak of a ruin. Any Idea what happened in our Hall of Virtue? So far my attempts to get an answer only spread more rumours. Can we finally have an official version? Or keep us guessing, and even developing independent opinions?++

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Postby Commissar Cat » Sun Mar 11, 2018 3:30 pm

++ I... Don't know. I've heard many different things too. The most believable is that there was a mortar misfire when the guard went over to sort out a turf war with some overstepping gangs... The Rogue trader's guys have been pretty grabby lately. Cat? ++

//# It's hazy... We went over to find out where all the refugees suddenly came from, and I came back half dead on a stretcher... in a taurox that smelled strongly of river cockles. If there's an official story, I've not been told either. I'm sorry fellas. #//

++ River... Cockles...? ++

//# Don't ask. #//

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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Mon Mar 12, 2018 6:18 am

++ Gangs? We have Natick, sure, but he's the only one. Gang activity is at all-time-low. Perhaps it is a story that will be revealed with time and cutting the red tape. Good Emperor, now I want to get some Cockles myself.++

++Speaking of Stories; what adventures did you or your regiment managed to gather along your years? Rumours? Embarrassing nicknames? What's the origin of "Cat"?++

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Postby Commissar Cat » Mon Mar 12, 2018 6:38 pm

++ I always figured he's called Cat because he's unlucky, black, and sleeps in strange places... ++

//# No arguments here. #//

++ As for embarrassing stories, well- ++

//# How about the origin of the bee? #//

++ Oh! Yeah, okay. On our regimental flag there's a golden Honey bee. Most people assume it's because we come from a hive world, and bees are industrious workers, all that... Truth is it was a recent addition. ++

//# We were having a discussion on the road about the regimental motto, or rather that we didn't have one. While the previous captain was speaking, his command chimera bumped into a tree... #//

++ ...Knocking a beehive into the open hatch. So all we heard was, "Well how about- Bees? BEES! AAAAAAH BEES!!!" mid conversation. ++

//# Teasing went on for weeks, and the bees stuck. #//

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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Thu Mar 15, 2018 7:20 am

++Hahaha, And I was told Mordians have no humour. If any of you, dear listeners, saw the Holo-Drama "Man of Wicker" starring Nickolaus Decipula I bet you are laughing even harder. Even Jorgen had to leave the room so we won't overhear him.++

++Is there any little trivia we Civvies or even your peeps on base never heard of and you'd like to tell? Cat's Embarrassing Stories or Interesting Regimental Traditions other than screaming in confusion in open spaces?++

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Postby Commissar Cat » Tue Mar 20, 2018 6:33 pm

++ Honestly, Cat has been fairly dignified for most of his career with us. Other than that time on a previous deployment, I found him creeping back onto base half dressed, just before day break... ++

//# I was dressed! #//

++ Your shirt was undone, your sash was missing, and you had your socks shoved in your coat pocket. ++

//# ...I had to climb out of a second floor balcony to avoid an angry man. #//

++ And you were half naked because... ++

//# ... The nice lady whose room possessed the balcony. #//

++ I don't really have to ask why the man was angry, huh? ++

//# There was an accidental weapons discharge. #//

++ ... ++

//# After the sex. My hell-pistol destroyed a cupboard. #//

++ Not a night stand? ++

[Sound of fingers drumming table]

++ S-so, regimental traditions? One would be folk song. We sing as we march, when it's appropriate. Largely about Mordian. The land, the rivers, the hives... Having a shared memory and a sense of home helps keep folk centred. ++

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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Sun Mar 25, 2018 1:31 pm

++ooohooh~, Did I just struck a gold mine of gossip there, Commissar? Does your sort actually able to express emotions and give in to your base urges like us mortals? Have you managed to score some victories of your own on this planet, Cat? Or are you still prowling the nights?++

++That is certainly an improvement over the Last Commissar we interviewed here.++

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Postby Commissar Cat » Sun Mar 25, 2018 8:42 pm

++ Well, that was a very different time. For one the planet we were stationed on didn't hate or blame us for anything, so the locals saw us as people... ++

## Yeah, we were helping rebuild that world after rescuing them from marauders. There was none of this resentment. ##

++ ... And for two, things were a lot less complicated. I hadn't really met anyone I cared about... And I hadn't been shot. Enforced medicae bed rest rather took the spring out of one's step for night time visitations. ++

## I've seen you running daily PT now, doesn't seem to be keeping you out of action too much... ##

++ Please stop 'helping'. ++

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Postby Johannes Wyss von Krieg » Mon Mar 26, 2018 8:27 am

+Helping is always appriciated here. For Every second we pass on air, 2 Civillians will not starve for 0.1 seconds. Sure it's a rather inefficient way to feed one self but that's the price for refusing sponsors. No one will blame you personally too much here. Except Jörgen maybe, his mouth is a foul one++

++Now for the last question; being such delightful conversation partners, I couldn't but wish for more talks of this kind. Know anyone with silmilar manners?++

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